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bear-to-make-a-difference-jennifer-beals-2011

“缔造不同”颁奖礼JB的得奖感言

2011年10月15日晚,Jennifer Beals 参加了丹佛表演艺术中心 Seawell大厅举行 Mathew Shepard 基金会第10届“缔造不同(Bear To Make A Difference)”颁奖仪式,作为本年度的获奖得主,Jennifer Beals发表了她的得奖感言。

演讲:Jennifer Beals    翻译:Be-Ti-An

 

感谢赠予我这一荣誉。

我之所以会在这里是因为我爱着Matthew Shepard基金会。有赖于拍摄《The L Word》这部同志剧集的机会,我得以了解这个基金会。事实上,《The L Word》教晓了我许多东西:我知道了牙胶的作用、知道了twinkies还有camel toes等等   (*注释1) 。我还知道了有许多有天渊之别的sex体位,那是异性恋女孩思想里未曾想象过的。每一个爱的场面都犹如一个魔方。记得拍摄那时我就想:“你让我把手放……哪里啊?那是人类能做到的角度吗?” 我感觉自己能拿到工程学或者物理学的荣誉学位了 (*注释2)

Matthew Shepard Foundation Bear To Make A Difference Gala 2011

不过事实上,这部剧让我明白爱情、真我和human agency (*注释3)  的重要性。在我拍摄第一集的时候,有天晚上我的丈夫和我在酒店里坐着,然后他转身吻了我。那时我感到假如我们是一对同性伴侣的话, 处身于如此特别的酒店里将是相当重要的时刻。这很让我伤感。这也提醒了我自己的不同。而这也让人意识到要活出真我需要付出多大的勇气。对每个人而言,这是个事实;而对那些在制度上、文化上和结构上被边缘化的人来说更是如此。

看看西南航空事件吧 (*注释4)  ,你就知道我们还有一段很长的路要走。上一次我所能听到的是两个女孩kiss并不违法,上一次我在圣经上能读到的是耶稣邀请每一个人坐到桌上—很可能甚至邀请他们亲热。

我想坦白说,《The L Word》真正教会我的是自私一点其实很精彩。我自己就相当自私。《The L Word》推动了慈善活动、筹款活动的开展。正如你们所知,作为剧组人员,我们出席各种活动而主办方也拍卖些临时角色和道具睡衣之类的,籍此能让Blamo!这样的机构有足够的资金购买需要的医疗设备、或者启动一些他们力不从心的项目。事实上这些都出色地达成了目标。筹款是一件十分有意思的事情。

剧集结束之后,如以往一样,每部我感悟至深、我珍爱的剧快到最后的时候,我习惯了制作一本摄影集来记录和演员和工作人员一起渡过的时光。这项长久以来的工作实质上既是因为我迅速消退的记忆,也是缅怀一群背景迥异的朋友如何组成了一种家人般的关系。后来灵光一现般,我觉得爱戴这部剧的影迷们也许会有兴趣收藏这本摄影集,也许《The L Word》能作为一种礼物继续为他人奉献下去。因此我在网上销售这本书。后来当我得知了Matthew Shepard 基金会的经费是如此微薄的时候,我就想:“这真不可思议!他们怎么能从零开始完成那么多事?” 于是从一开始我就决定基金会将是这本书的最大获益者。

可是坦白说,我所做的事并不多。我既未曾领导过什么游行活动、也并未有向国会举证过。然而,通过为我喜爱的组织做贡献,我确实也满足了自己的小小私欲。 我真的很喜爱Mathew Shepard 基金会。 我欣赏他们在立法方面的工作、欣赏他们为年轻人教育方面作出的贡献。最重要的是,作为一位母亲和普通人, 我敬仰着Judy Shepard (*注释5)  。在人们为换取他人认可而妥协时候、在权力比思想更为强悍的时候、在人们屈服于经济压力而认为自己无所作为的时候、在人们在以暴易暴的现状前痛哭流涕的时候,Judy Shepard成为了一盏明灯。她就是我们的密宗孔雀 (*注释6) ! “密宗孔雀到底还在哪里? ”

我记得某一次读到孔雀是佛教的一个重要标志。在密宗修炼中,孔雀并非骄傲的象征。它代表着将邪恶转变为善良。因为事实上孔雀是唯一一种鸟类能食用对其它动物有害的物质,并使其对自身生长有利。Judy Shepard能吸纳那些极可能有害的不良事物,并成功将它们转变成有助我们每一个人的东西。她身体力行地向我们展示了爱所带来的变革性力量。爱使最伟大的光,最耀目的火炬,并且将永远带来改变的最有力的武器。

现在我并不希望任何人、你们中任何一个人立时感到愧疚,但我希望今晚可以勉励大家尽绵力帮助自己,为这个优秀的机构做出自己的贡献。 而假如你担心经济的萧条状况,可以仅仅出一点力量,即使是一丁点。 因为任何力量都不会弱小。这个机构真的从零开始运作——这并不是玩笑——这基本就是个零 ——因此每份微力都会是极大的支持。

现在大家桌面上都有信封,对吧? 当我参加这些活动的时候,这些信封都让人十分恐惧。 那些笔也是同样地让人恐惧。我希望大家都拿起信封。 不必要在上面书写什么,只是触摸一下它们可以吗? 轻轻一下,这并不可怕。触摸着它,想想看,你会发现即使是很微小的数额,甚至于仅是星巴克一杯咖啡的费用,即使是一个晚上的成绩, 这已经对这个机构大有裨益了。如果你并不是出自单纯的爱心做这件事,那就请从你的私心出发吧。因为向他人施予的感觉相当的棒。这是一种治愈的形式。不要仅仅有益于你的个人, 它还有益于每一个人。这一点你们可以从 Shepard夫妇身上感受到。

谢谢大家,拿起你们的笔吧。谢谢。

 

译者的一些注释:

1. 牙胶:是牙科用具,可用作safe sex;camel toes是比较粗俗的比喻,指vulva,记得S607 Bette讥笑Alice那吗?twinkies是美国1930年开始出现的畅销零食,是一种手指长的甜蛋糕,但les圈里指什么我就真不知道什么玩意了,大家自己想象吧 :noway:

2.  JB在2010年6月橘子郡GALA年会中也有过类似的话 (JB偷懒 :coolwind: ), 可以看 这里

3.  human agency是一个关于人类作出选择影响世界的理论,属于哲学或社会学范畴。JB很强大。

4.  西南航空事件指今年9月《The L Word》另一位演员Leisha Hailey因为在西南航空航班上与女友亲热而被空乘人员要求下机。

5. Judy Shepard, 就是Mathew Shepard 的母亲。 Mathew Shepard被仇恨同志的人杀害后,他的父母建立了以儿子名字命名的基金会,以倡导同性权益。

6. “密宗孔雀”:原文是 Vajrayana Peacock,JB如此研究佛教……阿弥陀佛! :please:

另,其实这次感言的内容也基本和之前的雷同,不得不说JB偷懒了。不过她倒是把佛教的领悟都搬出来了。

这次活动的照片请点击这里 查看 。

[ via Jennifer-beals.com ]

 

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英文原文

Bear-to-Make-A-Difference

Jennifer: Thank you so much for this honor.

I’m here because I love the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I learned about the Foundation through my experience on The L Word, the little lesbian show that could. I actually learned a lot of things on The L Word: I learned about dental dams and twinkies and camel toes … I learned that there are more sexual positions on Heaven and Earth than ever dreamt of in a straight girl’s philosophy. Every love scene kind of presented itself like a Rubik’s Cube. I remember thinking on set, “You want me to put my hand … where? Is that even humanly possible from this angle?” I feel as if I could have an honorary degree in engineering or physics.

But, honestly, the show taught me about love, authenticity and the importance of human agency. When we were shooting the pilot one evening, my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant, and he turned and kissed me. And I realized that if we were a gay couple that that would have been a very big event in this particular restaurant. And it hurt my heart. And it spoke to my sense of otherness. And it awakened in me an awareness of how much courage it takes to live your life authentically. And this is true for anyone. But it is especially true for anyone who is systematically, culturally and structurally marginalized. Unless anyone think that we have come so far culturally, we have only to look to Southwest Airlines to know that we have so much further to go. The last time I heard, it was legal for two girls to kiss, and the last time I checked the Bible, Jesus invited everyone to sit at the table … probably to make out at the table.

You know, I’m really going to come clean, though. The L Word taught me how truly wonderful it is to be selfish. I am wildly selfish. The L Word was a great catalyst for charity events and fundraising. You know, we as a cast, we would show up to an event and organizers would auction off a walk-on or some piece of errant lingerie, and, Blamo! the organization would have enough money for the medical equipment they needed, or the ability to begin another outreach program. And it was incredibly fulfilling. You know, the fundraising stuff was fun.

And then the show ended. And as I normally do at the end of a project that is near and dear to my heart, I created a photo book to commemorate our time together as a cast and crew — this part bulwark against what I felt like was my rapidly eroding memory, and part celebration of how this disparate group of people had formed a family of sorts. And it then dawned on me that the fans of the show might be interested in having the book. You know, maybe The L Word could be that gift that just keeps on giving. And so I made it available online. And when I heard about how truly tiny the Matthew Shepard Foundation’s operating budget was, I thought, “That’s just impossible. How can they get all of that done with nothing?” And I knew from the start that the Matthew Shepard Foundation would be a major beneficiary of the book’s proceeds.

But, honestly, I didn’t do a lot. I didn’t lead a march; I didn’t testify to Congress. But I did satisfy a very selfish need to feel good by giving to one of my favorite organizations. I truly love the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I love the legislative work they do; the education outreach programs to young people they’ve created; but mostly — as a mother and as a human being — I worship at the altar of Judy Shepard. At a time when people seem to be so willing to compromise their values in exchange for access, at a time when power seems more important than ideas, at a time when people are gripped with an economic fear that makes them believe they are unable to give, and at a time when so many people cry for violent revenge in reaction to violence, Judy Shepard is a shining light. She is a Vajrayana Peacock. “What the Hell is a Vajrayana Peacock?”

I remember once reading that the peacock was an important Buddhist symbol. In the Vajrayana practice, the peacock doesn’t represent pride. It represents the ability to turn that which is evil into something good. Because, and this is true, the peacock is the only bird that can eat something that’s poisonous to other animals and transform it into something that is good and helpful to its own growth. Judy Shepard has taken something so personally heinous, so potentially poisonous, and managed somehow to create something that can help transform us all. By example, she has shown us all the transformative power of love. Love is the greatest light, the brightest torch, and will always be the greatest instrument of change.

Now I don’t want anyone … I don’t want to make you all feel guilty right now, but I want to encourage everyone tonight to do yourself a favor and give to this amazing organization. And if you’re afraid of the big bad recession, then just give a little bit. Even like a tiny bit. Because nothing is too small. This organization really runs on next to nothing — I’m not kidding — it’s really next to nothing, so every little bit is enormously helpful.

Now you all have like envelopes on your tables. Right? Now when I come to these events, those envelopes are really scary. The pencils are kind of scary. I want you all to just pick up an envelope. You don’t have to write anything in it, but can you all just touch an envelope? Just touch it; it’s not scary. Just touch it and think, you know, even a little amount, the amount of a Starbucks cup of coffee, for example. Even if it just adds up during the night and is very very helpful to the organization. And if you can’t do it with a pure heart, then do it with a really selfish heart. Because giving feels good. It’s a form of healing. Not just for you as an individual, but for everyone. You just have to ask the Shepards.

So thank you. Grab a pencil. Thank you.

[ via Jennifer-beals.com]

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