Jennifer Beals 橘子郡GALA同志年会演讲辞
2010年6月5日，Jennifer Beals参加了在加州圣塔安那市宝尔博物馆举行的GALA*年度同志活动，这次活动中因为对同志团体的支持以及为该团体寻求公平的社会待遇而做出的贡献，她被授予了名为火炬奖（ Torch Bearer Award）的奖项。她在现场做了一个颇长的演讲，当中字字铿锵、意义深重，个人认为可以说是她所有演讲中最感人的一次演讲。以下做了翻译，并且附上英文原文。
点击 此处 ，可以看这次活动的照片。
演讲：Jennifer Beals 翻译：Be-Ti-An
[dropcap4]我[/dropcap4]爱Rose Troche*！ 她总能带给我各种悲悲喜喜。感谢你们给予我这份荣耀。 感谢你们邀请我来到Orange Curtain*这里。 橘子郡这里先是有了LGBT团体，现在又有了这个火炬奖！
不得不说，得知将获得火炬奖这个奖项的时候，我自己也无法相信。我觉得自己并未配得上这项殊荣，心想，“我既没有领导过什么示威活动，也没有带领过游行，连扩音器之类都未曾拿过。” 我觉得其实自己是极有私心的，我只是在做一些令自己愉悦的事情。我为不同的机构筹集了一些资金，这让我无比高兴。我仅仅是向那些带着攻击性的传媒评论作出人道主义的回应——正义感总是让人极度的快乐。然后，我有幸在《The L Word》这部小小电视剧中饰演Bette Porter这个十分棒的角色。对于Ilene Chaiken我一直欠她一份人情，她给了我这个难得的机会去发掘自己内心深处的Alpha型人格。不得不提起的是，有《The L Word》的影迷来探望我，说感谢我饰演Bette Porter一角，就似乎我给予了她们很多帮助一样。这十分有趣。或者说如同我在某种意义上为她们减轻了负担。其实她们并没有意识到，有幸参演、并且真正获得人生中最棒的一份礼物的人是我。我并不勇敢，我有的只是私心。
从《The L Word》中我学到了很多。我知道了dental dams*和twinkies*，我发现有好多异性恋女孩做梦也未曾想过的体位。很多恋爱场景对我而言宛如魔方一般，我觉得自己可以获得工程学、物理学的荣誉学位之类的了，你们该明白我的意思。 :bath:
自从饰演《The L Word》的Bette Porter之后，我从纯属个人的角度体会到了这些状况。这些攻击（译者注：指那些针对同志的攻击）让我痛心，更伤害了我作为女性的情感。恐同症本身就是一种对女性的歧视。
感谢大家来到橘子郡参加这次活动。我代表所有为我照耀这条道路的所有人接受这个奖项， 包括《The L Word》里面所有人员，还有Rose Trohe。
GATA：Gay and Lesbian Acceptance，是一个为同性恋人士设立的非营利组织，最早成立于1984年。
Rose Troche: 出生于芝加哥的一位美国电影电视导演和编剧，曾参与The L Word的制作。
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[dropcap4]I[/dropcap4] have to say, though, when I was told that I was going to be getting this award — torch bearing — I couldn’t really figure out why. I mean I’m not really sure that I deserve this recognition. I mean, I thought to myself, “I haven’t lead any protests; I haven’t lead any marches; I don’t even own a bullhorn or anything …” I had only been in my estimation incredibly selfish. I have only really been doing things that, you know, please me. I’ve raised a bit of money for various organizations which is incredibly pleasurable. I have given a human response to various offensive remarks by journalists — righteousness is always pleasurable. And I accepted to play the amazing part of Bette Porter in the little lesbian show that could, The L Word. I am, and always will be, deeply indebted to ilene Chaiken for such a tremendous opportunity to explore my inner Alpha. And, I have to say, that it’s always been funny to me that so many fans of the show will come up to me and thank me for taking on the role of Bette, as if I’d done them a favor. Or as if I’d taken on some burden of some kind. I mean what they don’t realize is that it is I who have received one of the greatest gifts of my professional career by being able to play this part. I am in no way brave; I am just really selfish.
I have learned so much from The L Word. I learned about dental dams, and twinkies. I learned there are more sexual positions on Heaven and Earth than are dreamt up in any straight girl’s [can’t hear]. Every love scene presented itself to me like a Rubik’s Cube. I feel as if I could have an honorary degree in engineering, physics … I bet you know what I’m talking about.
But honestly, mostly the show taught me about love, authenticity and the importance of human agency. When we were shooting the pilot, one evening my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant, and he turned and kissed me. And I realized then if we were a gay couple, this would have been a very big event in this particular restaurant. And it hurt my heart. It spoke to my otherness. And it awakened in me the knowledge of how much courage it takes to live your life authentically. And this is true for anyone. But it is especially true for anyone who is systematically, culturally and structurally marginalized. To me there seems to be a rather pointed attack on authenticity in a country that prides itself on celebrating the individual. There seems to be a systematic attack on selfhood in a democracy that thrives and grows on sustaining the symbiosis between the individual and the group. Right now the government requires gay service men and women to imprison themselves by virtue of their silence. Their silence, their inability to experience themselves and their loved ones authentically, is a form of structural violence. The notion being that if you are yourself, somehow the group will suffer; the unit will no longer function and then the country will be unsafe. This to me is a form of emotional violence and cannot be farther from the truth.
The health of a democracy is directly measured by the health and well being of the individual citizen. The health of a democracy is directly dependent on hearing the voices of its individual citizens. Silence is destructive. What could mar our safety more than this restrictive policy that requires its citizens’ silence? What could mar our safety more than this restrictive policy that quietly attacks its own citizens’ very selfhood out of fear? What keeps us truly unsafe as a country on a day-to-day basis is our inability to look inside and experience ourselves as a multitude, as a complexity. And as sure as I’m standing here, things are not always black or white, but sometimes they can be both.
After playing Bette on The L Word I experience these issues in a very personal way. These attacks hurt my heart, and they hurt my sense of womanhood. Homophobia is after all, a form of misogyny.
As one of the recipients of this Torch Bearer award, I would like to think that I am special in some way, but I know that I’m not. We are all Torch Bearers. We each hold a light inside of us. And it falls to each and every one of us to burn bright, if not for our own sake, then for the sake of one another.
The only simple truth is Love. When we acknowledge our love for ourselves, for our beloved, for this beautiful and complex world we live in, we realize we cannot dim our light for anyone, for any government that would seek to dampen or diminish it. If we were to compromise that love, if we were to compromise our authenticity, we diminish not only ourselves, but we denigrate the very democracy of which we are a part. When we embrace love, we can effect change. Love is the greatest light, the brightest torch, and will always be the greatest instrument of change.
Thank you to The Center, Orange County for this honor. I accept it on behalf of everyone who has illuminated the path for me including all of my cast mates of The L Word and Miss Rose Troche. [Can’t hear last sentence]
[ via Jennifer-beals.com ]